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　　标题：TheONESimpleSteptoDevelopingLifeLongConfidence
　　source：pickthebrain
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　　TrawlingthroughYouTubetheotherday，Iwasamazedbythequantityofconfidencevideos。Therearethousandsofthem，witheveryonefromfitnesscoachestolifecoachesandevenlaypeoplegivingtheir2centsonwhatittakestobuildconfidence。However，morethansheernumbers，itwasthevarietyofadviceofferedthatreallystruckme。
　　Onetellsyoutodressforsuccess。
　　Thenexttellsyoutobeawareofyourpostureandhowyoupresentyourself。
　　Anothertellsyouto‘Actasif’youareconfidentandthefeelingwillfollow。
　　Yetanotherwilltellyouit’saboutvisualizingaconfidencebubblesurroundingyouandfillingyouwiththisfeeling。
　　Allofthisadvicegotmethinking。Whilefarfrombeingwrong，theremustbeoneoverridingprinciplethat，iffollowed，willsaveyouatonoftimeinexperimentingwithalltheothers。
　　InsearchofthisHolyGrailofconfidence，Ilookedbackonmyownexperienceasayoungadultlackingconfidencebothprofessionallyandsociallyandrecalledwhatworkedforme。Ithencombinedthisknowledgewithmyexperienceasahypnotherapist，lookingintowhatworkedbestformyclients。Finally，whenIdidsomeresearchonline，anddiscoveredthattheconclusionIwascomingtowasbackedbyscientificstudies，IknewIwasontoawinner。
　　Sothis，dearreader，iswhatIwanttosharewithyoutoday。Anincrediblysimpleonestepformulathat，iffollowed，willbringyoulifelongconfidenceinanyareayouneed。
　　FaceyourFears
　　Theprocessisstraightforward。
　　Findtheareainwhichyoulackconfidence。
　　Forceyourselftorepeatthisactagainandagainuntilthenervessubsideandyoubegintorelax。
　　Soifyoulackconfidencewhentalkingtopeopleyoufindattractivethenmakeasmanyapproachesaspossible。
　　Ifyoulackconfidencespeakinginfrontofanaudiencethensignyourselfupforaspeakinggroupandgetpracticingeveryweek。
　　Andifyoulackconfidenceinyourcreativework（writing，painting，makingmusicetc）thenputitinfrontofotherpeopleandletthemgiveyoutheirfeedback
　　Dothethingyoufearagainandagainuntilyoufearitnomore。
　　WhattheResearchSays
　　Thegoodnewsisthatthisreallyworks。
　　Thebadnewsisthatyou’regoingtohavetoDOsomework。
　　Youcan’tgetsomethingfornothingandthat’swhytechniqueslikeposturalawarenessanddressingforsuccessonlybringlimitedresults。WhatI’moffering，althoughdaunting，istheonlywaytoremovethoselimitingfeelingsthatcausealackofconfidence。
　　Here’swhyitworks。
　　Yourfeelingsarealwaysgoingtobemorepowerfulthanyourthoughts。It’swhyasmokercanrationalizethattheyneedtostopinordertopreventdamagingtheirhealth，yetfindthemselvesunabletodosobecausetheyfeelastrongemotionalattachmenttothehabit。
　　Lackofconfidenceworksonthesameprinciple。Throughoutchildhood，adolescenceandadulthood，you’llattemptcertainactivitiesandreceiveanemotionalevaluationonhowyoudid。Iftheresponseyoureceiveisridicule，rejectionorfailure，theunpleasantfeelingsyouexperience，dependingontheirseverity，willwarnyouawayfrompartakinginthatactivityagain。Anditwon’tmatterhowmuchyouwanttobesuccessful。Thisisjustathought。Whatstayswithyouistheunpleasantfeelingthatoccurredwhenyouattemptedtodosomethinganddidn’treceivetheoutcomeyoudesired。
　　Whilethismaynotstopyoufrompartakinginanactivity（pursuingromance，publicspeaking，blogging）altogether，itwillaffectthefrequencywithwhichyoudoit。Asageneralrule，you’llavoidthesituationswhereyoulackofconfidence。
　　Thisisthebiggestmistake。Frequencymakesallthedifferenceandthemoreoftenyoufaceyourfears，theweakerthenegativeresponsewillbe。Thisisbecauseyou’llreachapointwhereyouexhaustyournegativeemotionsandtheyjustcan’tkeepproducingthehormonesthatwarnyouaway。
　　Addedtothat，themoreoftenyouperformanactivity，thebetteryougetatit。Andthebetteryougetatit，themorelikelythechanceyou’llreceivetheresponseyoudesired（e。g。theaudienceisengagedbyyourtalkorthegirlsays‘yes’）。Andthis，dearreader，iswhenitgetsinteresting。Researchindicates（SeeDistortion4onthelink）thatthebestwaytoboostyourconfidenceistoreceiveconfirmationfromotherpeoplethatyouaregoodatdoingthatparticulartask。Whilevisualizationandaffirmationhavetheirplace，theydonotholdasmuchpowerashearingdirectly，fromanotherpersonwerespect，thatwehaveperformedwell。Thisiswheretherealboostinconfidencecomes。Stacktogetherafewoftheseexperiencesandyou’llactivateapositivefeedbackloopthatwillpermanentlyboostyourconfidence。
　　Frequency
　　Insummary，thekeywordisfrequency。Mostpeopleseektoavoidthatwhichproducesunpleasantemotions，onlypartakingintheactivitywhentheyabsolutelyhaveto。WhatIwouldrecommendisthatyougooutofyourwaytodothethingsthatfillyouwithfear。Infact，graspeveryopportunitytoexperiencethediscomfort。Don’tunderestimatejusthowoftenyou’llhavetofacethesefearsandjusthowstubborntheycanbethough。You’llhavetopushyourselftothepointofexasperationandit’sgenerallywhenyou’reclosesttogivingupthatachangewilloccur。
　　AndwhenIsay‘forceyourself’，Imeanit。Youremotionswillthrowallkindsofjunkatyouinanattemptto‘protect’youfromwhattheyperceiveasathreat。DON’Tlistentothem。Theheadmustgoverntheheartinthissituation。Bestrongandmakeyourselffaceyourfears。
　　HowdoIknowthisisgoingtowork？
　　AsIsaidatthestart，I’vebeenthroughmyownconfidencetransformation。
　　Onthe10thmarch2005，Isawmyfirsthypnotherapyclient。Atthetime，IlivedoppositetheclinicIworkedfromandIdistinctlyrememberarriving20minutesbeforethestartofthesession，sittinginthebigarmchairandthinkingtomyself，‘Icouldleavenowandnobodywouldknow。In1minuteIcouldbebackinmyroomandthisordeal（Iwasveryanxiousatthethoughtofdoingmyfirstsession）willgoaway。’
　　ThankGodIdidn’t。WhatproceededwasaprettyterriblesessionandtherewereplentymoreofthemoverthenextfewyearsasIbothlearnedmycraftandovercamemylimitingbeliefaboutbeingtooyoungandinexperienced（Iwas25atthetime）tohelppeople。However，whatcameouttheothersidewasacompletelyconfidentmanwhoknowshehastheabilitytohelpanybodywhoenlistshisservices。
　　Iachievedthistransformationbyturningupandfacingmyfearsagainandagain（nomatterhowmuchIwantedtorun）。TheconfidencecamefromthetrickleofpositivefeedbackIreceivedthatsteadilygrewintoastreamandfinallydevelopedintoafullyflowingriver。Thisenabledmetorelaxwhenperformingasessionandgetintotheflowofbeingagreathypnotherapist。
　　Ihopethisstory，andthewiderarticle，hasconvincedyou。Theonlythingstandingbetweenyounow，andthatconfidentversionyouknowyoucanbe，isawillingnesstoputyourselfontheline。
　　Wanttolearnmoreanddevelopyourselfbeliefsoyoucanlivealifeoffreedomandgreatness？
　　ThenheadovertomywebsiteScrewtheSystemandgetyourFREEcopyof50RealityChangingInsights。AlsocheckoutmycriticallyacclaimedbookEscapetheSystemNow。Iworkasawriter，hypnotherapistandtenniscoachandhaveapassionforhelpingpeoplediscovertheirgreatnessandlivelivesofgreaterfreedomandauthenticity。