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　　标题：4SignalsaFriendshipHasGoneWrong（andWhattoDoNext）
　　source：psychologytoday丨bySuzanneDeggesWhitePh。D。
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　　Relationshipsarethehumanformofeconomicsystemsatwork。Whilewemaynotbeconsciouslyawareoftherulesoftheexchangesystem，sometimeswemayfeelwecomeupontheshortendoftherewardsofafriendshiporromance。Whenthishappens，it’simportanttohonorourinsightand，ifneeded，takeaction。Wemayneedtorestorethebalancetoarelationshipthatsnolongerworking，orcutlooseandletgo。
　　Hereare4signsthatarelationshipisoutofbalance：
　　1。Youfeelworseafterspendingtimewithaperson，ratherthanbetter。
　　Friendshipsandromancemaynotalwaysrunsmoothlyinthebestofrelationshipsyouarecomforenoughtobeyourselfbutwhenbadfeelingsconsistentlyoutweighthegood，itmaybetimetoreviseyourrelationshipinvestmentstrategy。
　　2。Youfindyourselfwantingtoignoretexts，emails，andcallsfromapersonyoupreviouslyjumpedtoanswer。
　　Whenyoubegintofeelthatyouaretoobusy，tootiredortoohappytorespondtoapersonsrequestsforyourtimeandinterest，askyourselfifthisisapatternintherelationshiporsomethinggoingoninyourownlife。Ifitsreallyyou，maybeyouneedtoalertthefriendaboutwhatsgoingonforyouinyourlife。Ifitsthem，maybeyouneedtobemoreupfrontorletyoursilenceindicateyourlevelofinterestincontinuingtherelationshipasitstands。Andifitstherelationship，maybeyouneedtocheckinwiththispersonandseeifthefeelingsaremutual。Chronicallyoutofbalancerelationshipsrequiretheinputandeffortoftwopeopletocontinue。
　　3。Youregretthethingsyoudowhenyoureinthispersonscompany。
　　Whenyourewithaparticularfriend，doyougossiptoomuch？Drinktoomuch？Spendtoomuch？Makedecisionsthatyouregretlater？Ifyouarelosingselfrespectorselfdirectioninarelationship，itsasignthatyouaregivingtoomuch，andallowingtheotherpersontoexpecttoomuch。
　　4。Youfindyourselfasking，HowdidIendupinthisrelationship？or，WhydoIletthisgoon？
　　Thesearesignsthatyouarekeepingabalancesheetinyourheadandyouarerecognizingthattherelationshipistakingmoreenergythanitshould。
　　KnowyourValue
　　Reflectonyourlevelofselfrespectandtheresourcesyouhavetooffer。Weallhavethechoicetosetourboundariesandcommunicateourlimits。Whatarethegiftsthatyouarebringingtotherelationship：Emotionalsupport？Energy？Time？Loyalty？Faithfulness？Awillingnesstoprovidefavorsandinstrumentalsupportwhenneeded？Whenyouadditallup，doyoustillbelievetherelationshipisworththeinvestment？
　　Ifyouaremakingchoicesaboutwhatyouwillinvestinthefuture，acknowledgewhereyouareoverthelimitinyourbehaviorsandcutbackongivingthatistaxing，notsustainingyou。Ifitisreallytheotherguywhoisencouragingorguiltingyouintodoingmorethanyoufeelcomforwith，thenitistimeforafriendshipdetoxorfriendshipcleanse。
　　Herearethreequestionstoaskyourselfifyouareonthefenceaboutarelationship。Ifanyofthemraiseredflags，digalittledeeperandseeifyouarereadyforarelationshipcleanse：
　　WhatamIgettingfromthisrelationship？
　　WhatistheemotionaldebtIfeelIamowed，butamnotseeingfulfilled？
　　Whatisthetollthatthisrelationshipinequityistakingonmepersonally？
　　Onlyyoucandecidethenextsteps。Weighyourdecisioncarefully。